Those with high self-esteem know who they are and are strong in that knowledge. This makes them less vulnerable to judgement. Low self-esteem is common in teenagers as they develop from being dependent children to independent adults. It’s a phase of working out who they are and what they value, often making mistakes along the way.
However, in today’s society, those mistakes are easily shared online and across social media. This exposes them to heightened risk of judgement and thus encourages teens to withdraw into themselves. In that space, the potential for growth of their self-awareness is limited and the ‘self’ remains undeveloped.
The key focus is changing the attitude to risk. Judgement is real and is going to be made. However, when a teen can accept that judgement is a reflection only of what that person sees and dissociates from that, there is a fundamental change in perception of risk. Our work is around what is real, creating their own reality. And as that acceptance of ‘the only meaning is the meaning we give it’ becomes accepted, the ‘self’ becomes independent of others and starts to strengthen.
Our beliefs are held at the subconscious level. By working with this part of the mind, it allows these new understandings and learnings to be more readily accepted than working with the analytical conscious mind.
The number of sessions required varies significantly depending on the how low the self-esteem is in that teenager. The teen will be given resources and exercises to help them build their own confidence in between sessions and our work continues together until they feel resilient enough to continue progress without that support.
Lily - aged 16