S was struggling at school. His Mum contacted me to help with his high levels of anxiety which were being exacerbated by ticks and she had also noticed an escalation in obsessive compulsive habits.
When first meeting S, he also explained that he had a couple of phobias, one of which was a high trigger of anxiety, and also struggled with self motivation, finding the temptation to give up all too easy.
This variety of manifestations of anxiety is not uncommon. A more generalised anxiety can also become acutely attached to specific things leading to phobias. OCD can often be a subconscious coping strategy to control anxious thoughts by doing something that is real. And low motivation comes from the fact that anxiety is very draining on energy levels. Cumulatively, they result in a downward spiral. And this is what we had to reverse.
S had just 3 sessions. The first session with teenagers is a very gentle session where we don’t do any therapeutic work but build a strong foundation to progress from. S had an experience of hypnosis and noticed that during it, his ticks reduced significantly which gave him hope. We had two more sessions which were spread out over time, allowing S to apply his learning to his day-to-day life.
In Mum’s words:
“S is absolutely amazing! He’s been so much happier and his increase in confidence has been absolutely astounding. I did notice quite a difference very soon after his last session with you.
It’s so lovely to see such am improvement, and obviously such a relief!”
Teenagers tend to be what I call ‘marmite’ with hypnotherapy – they either love it or hate it! And if it is for them, the results tend to come quickly. The benefit of teenagers learning these skills is that they then have access to them for life. S will be facing the challenges of exams and more in the years to come but having changed his relationship with anxiety, he will have a mental strength that can support him through those tough times.
If you would like to know more about hypnotherapy for your teenager, or indeed yourself, please get in touch for a confidential chat.
R had a challenging entry into the world resulting in many invasive medical procedures and a full bone marrow transplant aged 7. On-going physiological conditions have meant that regular treatments continue to be a necessity. One of these is related to the need for regular flushing of the ears but for R, anything being put inside the ear is unbearable, resulting in R needing to be held down and the treatment taking a long time and traumatic for all.
R’s Mum contacted me to see what we could do to help her relax and explore whether self hypnosis could make these treatments endurable for R.
Due to them living overseas, all sessions were undertaken over zoom.
With younger children (R was 11) finding the triggers is important, whilst also creating anchors for them to use. One of R’s triggers was talking about her ears, so we referred to them as ‘milkshakes’ and changed the anxiety into something funny as we decided which flavour we were working with that day! Her anchors were around some cuddly toys, using heightened awareness of sensations in her hands to create the sense of control and safety.
In the first session we used a technique of dissociation – taking her mind to a place where she felt safe and she could see herself in the treatment room but not associate with it. Over a total of 4 therapeutic sessions, we continued to overlap sessions with treatments. To support R, we also created a personalised recording that she could listen to on the way to her treatments which also helped her to relax.
The following was received by R’s Mum:
“Thank you so so much. She was like a different child. It went really well and best of all her ears feel really nice now, she says, so she’ll look forward to the next one!
Thank you for everything- really. Words aren’t enough.”
And from R herself (albeit a little edited!!)….
“THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Today went brilliantly, I listened to the special video you made me on the way there and in the waiting room. When I went in, mum practically had to push me in because I was so sleepy. And luckily there was only Dr Dani and Mum with me so that helped a bit more. Then Dr Dani started and it was very easy and I had one ear phone in the other ear, still listening to my special recording.
Then we hoovered out the first ( her description of the treatment) and I was able to stay still!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you for helping me get to this point Caroline, you have helped me soooo much.”
Hypnotherapy cannot only help overcome previous traumas but also help you face challenges in the future that cannot be avoided. For more information, please do get in touch.
At 14 years old, O was struggling with friendship issues – something not uncommon to early teenage years but for her, it was affecting her sleep, her motivation and leading to heightened levels of anxiety. Her self esteem and confidence were being eroded.
Hypnosis is something that teenagers tend to respond to in a rather ‘marmite’ way – they either love it or hate it. The first session is always a gentle session, giving the teen the opportunity to learn more about the process and experience hypnosis without having to pour their heart out in front of a relative stranger. This provides a platform that we can then build on.
In the first therapeutic session, O was able to revisit previous experiences and see them from a new perspective. This allowed her to see ‘ring leaders’ in a new way and her role in the interactions. This new understanding allowed her to feel a sense of control once more.
O returned to Boarding School after one therapeutic session. Two weeks on, I received the following email from her Mum.
“I am delighted to say that things at school seem to be going very well. I have had no tears on the phone and she seems genuinely happy.
O has mentioned that she thinks it is a combination of the girls are being more pleasant and when things have been said she is able to take it as nothing more than a comment and she hasn’t taken it to heart and allowed it to upset her – fabulous!”
At the end of a full term at school O wrote,
“Hypnotherapy has helped me to form better and effective coping strategies and has helped me improve relationships with my friends. Thank you for helping me.”
How we feel inside can often be picked up by others. This can result in those who are feeling vulnerable becoming targets to bullies. By creating a sense of empowerment, it changes this vulnerability leading to different interactions and this is what O experienced. And in addition, even when comments are passed, she has the self confidence to acknowledge they are just an opinion and she can choose whether she takes it on board or not!
Whilst this is a common scenario for teenagers, a lack of self-esteem and confidence is seen in adults too, leading to them being vulnerable to those that delight in preying on perceived weakness. O has demonstrated that this can be resolved relatively quickly leading to a different quality of life.
If you would like to know more about how hpynotherapy could help you, let’s chat
A was just 9 years old and experiencing high levels of anxiety around loud noises. At school, special steps were having to be taken every week during the fire alarm test which was escalating to A not wanting to go into school on that day. Her anxiety was also spreading, leading to distress around the risk of car alarms going off and even her sibling’s noisy toys if they did not have an on/off switch.
A’s experience follows a typical pattern of anxiety and escalation. In children however, this escalation can be quicker than in adults.
The age of a child is less relevant than their mental maturity. In the first session we take small steps to identify if hypnosis is an approach that they can embrace.
A took to the approach easily and quickly and after just one session she was already showing signs of having changed her mental association with noise. I then sent A a recording to help her learn to relax and feel more in control with the recommendation to use this as often as possible and definitely on Tuesday mornings before school.
After just one session I received the following email from her Mum.
“She has had a breakthrough and it is completely down to talking to you. Before seeing you she had to leave the school and wait on the field, last week she stood in the room while they set the alarm off!! I am so grateful to you.”
Deeming that progress was being made, we decided to continue to use the recording and then test out the other triggers for her anxiety.
“She isn’t as anxious about other noises now either like car alarms and is no longer having a complete meltdown when her brother plays with noisy toys, she asks him to stop but in a controlled manner,” added Mum.
Not every young child is a perfect candidate for hypnosis however equally, results such as those as A received are achievable and A now has an awareness of risk that will also be with her as she moves forward and faces other challenges as she grows up.
If you are not sure if your child is a good candidate for hypnotherapy, please get in touch for an informal chat and we can take it from there.
At 9 years old, B was experiencing high levels of anxiety. She was a real worrier, concerning herself with things that most 9 year olds do not concern themselves over, and this was affecting her both at school and also leading to bad dreams at night. She is an accomplished swimmer but was often feeling very sick on the way to lessons and competitions and was also dreading a school sporting event that was on the horizon. B said her anxiety left her feeling “sad.”
The age of a child is less relevant than their mental maturity. In the first session we take small steps to identify if hypnosis is an approach that they can embrace.
B was clearly a very bright little girl and was able to engage easily and quickly. Even after the introductory session, B reported that she was falling asleep better and was feeling a little less anxious. The second session is one where we start to use the therapeutic tools under hypnosis. Children tend to respond very well as we are working with a part of the mind that is playful and imaginative. We used age appropriate concepts to help her reframe the fears and create a mental resource she could use when she wanted to feel brave.
After the two sessions, I created a personalised recording for B to listen to that would help embed the work we had done together.
I will hand that over to the words of her Mum.
“B is doing brilliantly !!
She is now going to bed without her anxiety attacks and is sleeping right through!! Bedtime is now taking 5 minutes as opposed to 30/40.
She did brilliantly in her sporting event and had no anxiety around it at all. She ended up looking forward to it and was excited! She came in the top 5. This was such a confidence booster for her, especially as she had not wanted to participate initially due to her anxiety.
She had her first gala this weekend. Yesterday she had lots of tears and didn’t want to attend, so she went into her room, listened to your recording, and calmed herself. She managed to control her anxiety so well, and although she had a few wobbles on the way, she was fabulous, and once she had managed her first race, the rest went very smoothly, and she loved every minute. She was so excited about the second leg today, with no anxiety at all, and she again did so very well!
Further, much to my surprise, she has decided, pretty much on her own, that she would like to commence tutoring for the 11+. This was never an expectation, as we had always felt that the pressure would be too much for her. The fact that she feels confident enough to proceed, is incredible.
She is happy and positive and hasn’t had a bad dream for several weeks. We have seen fabulous results after so few sessions, and the recording has been a excellent tool, which she can access whenever she needs, often of her own accord. We are most grateful.
If you are not sure if your child is a good candidate for hypnotherapy, please get in touch for an informal chat and we can take it from there.
R was just 10 years old and emotionally very intelligent. She had been persuaded to behave in a way that she knew was wrong by children that were older. This left her feeling huge amounts of guilt, not only in the knowledge of what she had done, but feelings of having let her parents down. This had changed a vibrant, bubbly young lady into one that was withdrawn and unhappy.
We had just 2 sessions. The first session all clients experience is what is called a chemistry session. This is especially key for youngsters as if they do not feel comfortable with the therapist or their methodologies, they will not get the results they deserve.
R was naturally nervous about hypnosis but having had it explained to her, was very open to having her first experience of it. After this first session, even though we had not used any therapeutic techniques, her Mum reported back that, “She is so much more relaxed & happy. She really enjoyed the hypnosis. I don’t want to speak too soon, but it feels like we’ve our daughter back. She’s so much happier.”
So we progressed to have one therapeutic session, using a range of techniques to help address the guilt and to bolster her self-esteem to feel more confident around other children.
R was able to let the past go and move on from the incident and return to being a happy, bright child ready to progress into secondary school with a new level of mental agility and resilience.
And in her own words, “I was really nervous about seeing Caroline, but she comforted me and assured me there was nothing to be nervous about. Before I saw her, my problem was always on my mind, but now I rarely think about it thanks to Caroline. Thank you for what you did for me Caroline.”
If you have a teen (or near tween) who is struggling with inter-personal relationships, please get in touch for an informal chat.
Annabel is a very bright young lady and performing very well at school. However, despite her good grades, she constantly felt she was not good enough. The standards she set herself led to high levels of anxiety that were then affecting her sleep.
She also had some physical challenges that were leading to fears around both her own and others’ mortality. She required an operation and was experiencing very high levels of anxiety around the procedure.
As she was coming close to her GCSE exams, the initial motivation was to get her anxiety back under control. We needed to improve her sleep and help her to fulfill her full potential in her exams.
Annabel came to the first session with a very open mind. She had had some counselling before but whilst she felt it had helped with coping strategies, it had not helped her change her low opinion of herself.
She took on board the science behind hypnotherapy, after her first experience of hypnosis, she described it as, “A deep relaxing sleep.”
Over the course of 6 months we had 8 sessions together. Initially the focus was on perfectionism and she started to feel a pride in the results she was getting in exams. This was a big change from anything below her perceived perfect score, being not good enough.
After her mocks, our focus then moved to preparing her for an operation she needed – something that she naturally felt very anxious about.
Shortly after her operation I received a message from her Mum saying, “She was amazing – really positive and calm.”
Annabel is now looking forward with excitement to a summer where she can fully enjoy her social life. And beyond that, making more progress towards fulfilling her dream of becoming a dentist.
In Annabel’s words, our work together “relieved a lot of anxiety and helped with a phobia (of medical procedures)”
I am confident that this lovely young lady is going to use her new skills to create a very exciting future for herself.
If you can relate to the challenges Annabel faced, please get in touch and we can chat more
M is an 11 year old child who was struggling with a phobia of being sick. This triggered high levels of anxiety when feeling any form of nausea or stomach discomfort.
Her anxieties were leading to her struggling to settle into the new Secondary School environment, which in turn was creating a high level of anxiety for all at home. Things were rapidly spiralling downwards.
One of the key things in supporting younger children is creating trust. M was a very bright child and also emotionally intelligent which helped us to create a platform of understanding of the science behind hypnosis and also the impact her thoughts and experiences were having on her. From here, she felt more able to ‘open up’ about not only her anxieties but her feelings in relation to how it was affecting her family.
Children tend to be a bit ‘marmite’ with hypnosis – they love it or hate it. M was very open to it however the experience of allowing her to focus on those fears did cause her to feel a lot of emotion as those pent up feelings were released. We allowed large periods of time between sessions to allow M time for the mental healing process to occur and to start using the new skills we were developing. In total, M had 3 sessions with me over a period of nearly 2 months.
Here is what her Mum said:
“Caroline has really helped my daughter cope with her phobia of being sick or feeling sick. Whilst M still occasionally gets anxious about new situations, her fear of going to school has completely vanished. She is happy and thriving there.
As a parent, the thing that has been the most helpful to me is the follow up emails Caroline has written to me, to guide me through what has been a very distressing time. She’s a mum too, so really understands what we as parents go through, as children negotiate their way through their anxiety issues. I have also really appreciated her advice on how often she sees M and which different methods she will use – it’s always been about what has been right for M, not about Caroline earning fees.
Highly recommended”
Children are often highly responsive to hypnotherapy and by gaining the tools to use their mind in this way at an early age, have a skill set that can be applied for the rest of their lives.
If you have a child that you are concerned for or would like to know more about hypnotherapy, let’s chat.
This child (pre-teenage) came to see me after having a series of traumatic experiences. There had been trauma in early childhood which had resulted in a very disturbed sleep pattern. More recently, this was followed by serious illnesses in beloved grandparents and then the loss of the family dog to whom they were devoted, closely followed by the passing of two guinea pigs.
The ‘snowballing’ continued after experiencing bullying at school resulting in friendship issues which all came to a head during the first Covid Lockdown.
Mum contacted me, concerned for a child who now regularly sleep walked resulting in disturbed nights for both of them. The child cried most days, had very low esteem often making references to being fat, stupid, ugly etc and was developing a fear of being shut in a room.
All clients experience a ‘chemistry’ session – a specially designed session to help them make the decision as to whether hypnotherapy is the right route for them. For children, this is even more important as the child needs to feel at ease and have a confidence and trust in the therapist if they are going to feel benefit from our work together.
With this child, there was a great rapport and despite all the trauma, they demonstrated a high level of emotional intelligence. They enjoyed the first experience of hypnosis and Mum mentioned that even after the first session there was a discernible improvement in their sleep.
We had a total of 4 sessions together and this is what Mum reported back a period after:
“It felt like someone was really listening to what my child had to say for the first time. You helped build up their self confidence and self-belief. At the start, their self esteem was low, at the end there was a sense of calm, balance and real self-worth. There is a greater confidence in friendships both in and out of school and whilst there are still frequent stressful situations around relatives, for the first time, they were managed in a calm, considered manner using techniques she had learned with Caroline.
For the first time in their life, they slept the whole night through which was a game changer.
They have been able to understand their father’s behaviour more and to more effectively deal with it and his attitude, including standing up to him and speaking their mind. Most of all, they now understand that he cannot be changed, the past has passed but they now have an ability to change the way their thoughts about the past and their perception of certain situations.
My child is happier, more confident and excited about what life throws their way and you have helped them develop this new attitude and zest for adventure and life. Thank you so much for helping her Caroline, it means the world to both of us.”
If you would like to discuss any issues with regards to children, please get in touch for an informal chat
Maxine has a daughter who was struggling with social anxiety, panic attacks and was ‘of clinical concern to the professionals treating her.’ My work however was not with the teenager, but to support Maxine through the stress of being a parent to an unwell child and this was all provided through an online forum called teenstress101. In her own words. “I felt overwhelmed and did not understand what I was dealing with and how to help her.”
Teenstress101 is a closed facebook group for parents of teenagers where I provide tips and techniques on supporting teenage anxiety but also in helping support your own stresses that result from parenting.
She went on to say, “Honestly, what I found so comforting was that you, a professionally trained expert and mother of teenagers were willing to give your support to total strangers to genuinely help people who were struggling.
The support I got from you and your forum got me through some dark and difficult months/years. I also gained some very valuable words/advice regarding my oldest daughter who was in a troubled relationship and the victim of domestic abuse.
I was a little broken at times and you helped put me back together more than once. Whilst we did have some private message exchanges, sometimes it helped just reading other people’s posts and gave me comfort to know I was not alone.
I am very thankful and appreciate your wonderful kindness and I will remain a member of teenstress101.”
If you are a parent of a teenager (or nearly teen) then please feel free to come and join the forum and find out more about what support is offered.