Client Stories

Charlie – Self Harming

Charlie is 10 and was prone to outbursts of anger that were affecting both home life and school. His parents had appealed to doctors.  The school nurse had also got involved.  And they had contacted CAMHS without any luck as “He hasn’t been self-harming long enough!”

Getting Started

Charlie is a lovely young man but it became evident as we spoke that his reaction to any sense of injustice was to ‘go nuclear’ – ie utter outrage often including physically directed anger at himself and others.

One of the wonderful things about working with children is that they don’t have the ‘baggage’ that is collected over life. They have an incredible imagination and this can be utilised in hypnotherapy to achieve wonderful results.

We had one session where we worked to recalibrate his anger. Anger is not something you want to get rid of altogether, but Charlie was missing any form of degrees between calm and outraged.

The feedback after this one session was that he was a changed boy; life at home was better, and he was much more relaxed and most importantly, was no longer seeking to hurt himself.

The result

We then met again where Charlie told me with some surprise that all of his teachers seemed to have become much nicer.  He said, “Its a bit like they had all taken a happy pill!”

When it became evident that he was actually the happy pill and it was the change in HIS behaviour that was creating the result, the smile on his face was magical.

We went on in that session to look into the future and give Charlie some tools to use his newfound control and calmness to achieve some goals – which included doing well in his SATS and being the best football player in his team!

In two hypnotherapy sessions here in Salisbury, Charlie has gone from someone who was being destructive and disruptive to a calm boy who ‘wants to be seen by everyone as a kind person’; and that is what can be achieved when you use the power of the subconscious mind. The final word comes from Charlie’s Mum:

“We can’t thank you enough for everything you have done for him. When I say he is a different boy I genuinely mean it. The way he copes in situations compared to how he used to is so much better. A level of calm has restored in our house and it’s all thanks to you.”

Brad – Self abuse

Brad is a teenager who came to see me after having worked with CAMHS for approximately 3 years. He had recently spent a night in hospital through self-abuse. His anxiety had resulted in him not only missing a significant amount of school, but his world was becoming very small; he struggled going into town with friends, getting to the point where he spent most of his time at home. Brad desperately wanted to move on in his life but felt “trapped by my anxiety.”

The result

Brad had a total of 3 sessions with me. Due to his age, details of our work together remains confidential.  His mother, however, wrote to me with the following words shortly after his last session:

“I just wanted to say thank you for helping Brad, he seems so much more in control of things, not all the time, but as they say, small steps, but in the right direction.

This weekend he was invited to go paintballing. He was excited to go, up early, picked up friends, dropped them off. We communicated with each other for about an hour or so and after his first text.  Initially he wanted to come home, but 4 hours later, I got a message to say could I bring a drink! He stayed, overcame his anxiety and had a great time. This is such a big achievement for him , I am so grateful for all your support.

Today he had his first driving lesson, which by all accounts went really well.

Thank you so much, you are amazing, you must make so many people more positive about themselves.”

Working with adolescents like Brad make what I do priceless. Brad will face challenges in his life, we all do. But he now has the resources to help him through those. One of my favourite sayings is, “Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we deal with them.”

In the past this was more like 90% ‘happening’ to Brad and he had few resources to manage what most teenagers deem ‘normal’. He felt trapped and out of control. He may be a little way from getting to the 10% yet but as his Mum said, “small steps” and there is a wonderful thing about small steps ….. When you keep taking them, every day you move further away from where you were and closer to where you wish to be.

Name withheld – School absenteeism

E (name withheld) was referred to me after finding it increasingly difficult to go to school over the summer term, leading to a total refusal to go as the new school year started. She had a desire to go, often packing school bags the night before, getting out her uniform but come the next morning, her emotional state made it impossible for her to leave the house. Beyond her anxiety, E’s  school absenteeism was resulting in a lot of arguments, frustration and distress within the home, impacting on the whole family.

As is common with anxiety, her fears increased leading to a situation where she was rarely able to leave the home. She had had two visits from CAMHS who had deemed her problem to be behavioural, and so felt unable to assist her further.

Getting started

Key to assisting E to get back to school was building a relationship of mutual respect and trust. “Caroline treated E as an adult at all times which my daughter thought was great and as such, E engaged with Caroline,” said her mother.

As with adult clients, my approach to moving E forward is based on partnership. I position myself as a partner in her achievements, but she has to be active too. Initially E struggled with this as in many medically based situations, children are passive, but as she started to experience the impact of our work together, her motivation to participate increased.

After our third session together, E made her first return to school. Just for 2 hours in the morning and a major threshold crossed. Having crossed that threshold we continued to build her confidence and increase attendance with the aim of attending school for a part of every day in a week.

The result

Within another 2 sessions, frequency of attendance was increasing. Within 6 sessions I received the following email from her mother: “We have our lovely E back with us at the moment. I have literally just emailed the school to say that we are very hopeful that E will continue with attending school for the rest of the week. I have also said that I would quite like her to stay there longer next week – something that I mentioned to E and she was fine with.”

That was also achieved and E is now progressing towards being in full time education again.

It will take time for E to rebuild her confidence but each threshold she crosses, she grows in confidence and becomes more resilient.

Final words from her mother: “E is now going to school with lots of positive notes and coping strategies that have been taught by Caroline. Caroline has always been very accommodating with both her time and financially.”

Working with teenagers is a passion of mine. The techniques learned at this age can create a skill set that they can continue to use into their adult life. If you have a teenager that is struggling with anxiety or stress, please do get in touch.

Tom – Self Confidence

Tom’s confidence had been knocked after the end of a serious relationship. He had found himself feeling very alone but his lack of self confidence was hindering him going out with other people.  He was feeling very unhappy and isolated. Also contributing to the challenges was his fear of being judged by others; something very common to young men of his age.

In our first session together, Tom expressed that he was unsure about hypnotherapy but open-minded. The first session with clients is designed to inform about what hypnotherapy is and how it works.  Clients also experience hypnosis to help them understand how it feels and to understand that they are still very much in control – something that is a common misconception based on the use of hypnosis in stage shows.

When asked how he would describe the feeling of hypnosis to someone else, his response was, “Like falling asleep but sensing you are awake.”

Tom had just 3 sessions with me over a three week period. By then, he felt his self confidence was back at a level he was happy with. He had reconnected with friendships that he had allowed to lapse and was now going out most evenings. More significant for him was that he was no longer worried about what people may think about how he looked or what clothes to wear.

The final session Tom experienced was one on my favourites where he learned a wonderful technique that supports a great feeling of control over emotions and thoughts. At the end of that session his parting words were, “I am much happier and more confident. I feel lighter in myself, a lot more happier.”

Philip – Depression

In 2013, Philip developed a condition in his foot that inhibited his mobility.  This led to the need to make adjustments in many areas of his life. He struggled with these changes and things took a significant downturn following the death of his brother in law. Feelings of loss, insecurity, anxiety, problems making decisions and concerns about his future culminated in an increasing depression.

From a person who had had full control of his life, he found himself, “Living my life in fear with the feeling that there was something inside my head that was stopping me moving forward.”

Getting started

Philip and I worked together over a few months.  I gave Philip some practical tools to analyse his emotions to get a better understanding of the triggers of anxiety.  He also started to notice what helped him feel better. This greater awareness of the external forces on his own internal state has helped him feel much more in control.  This also helped him to be far less influenced by the words and actions of other people.

The result

“I feel calmer in myself and more able to deal with situations as they arise.  I’,m no longer unduly concerned about the future as I try to live in the day and not look back.

Life has improved and almost back to where I was before my illness.  Whilst I still have moments of doubt/fear/concern, I am more able to deal with them and to not let them overtake/overcome me.”

Feelings of depression are experienced by most people at some time. The work that Philip has done does not mean that he will never feel depressed again.  The key difference is that he now has a much greater awareness of his emotional state.  This leaves him more able to take steps to prevent any decline back to that more clinical state of depression.  He has tools to pick himself back up quickly on those days where, as we all experience at times, the clouds come over!

“Initially I was unsure about contacting Caroline as I thought that I could resolve my problems myself without outside intervention but I realised that I needed professional help.

The decision to get in touch with Caroline proved to be one of the best decisions of my life.  If I had not done so, I would still be in that ‘dark place of despair’ with the potential consequences of that situation and its impact on my life and that of my partner.”

If you can relate to that ‘dark place of despair’ please know there is a light for you to find and I would love to have a chat with you .

Jo – Weight Management

Jo contacted me because she wanted to develop a healthy relationship with food and to lose weight.  But she didn’t want to spend the rest of her life on a diet to have good weight management.

Whilst her own health was a high priority for her, her main motivator was to be a positive role model to her two beautiful young daughters.  Jo really didn’t want to pass on her own food issues to them. She had developed what we refer to as ‘the black lab syndrome’ – if there is food around, it needs eating!  Every day it felt she had a battle with food.

Getting started

In therapy, it is important to have a goal to work towards. Jo’s goal was to lose 2 stone and to get into a specific dress that was in her wardrobe. We had 4 sessions spaced over approx. 10 weeks. Hypnotherapy for weight loss involves developing new habits and these take time. I challenged Jo after each session to do some ‘homework’- simple activities that create new behaviours. Her success was strongly influenced by her commitment to doing the activities suggested.

6 months after our first session, Jo reported that she had lost 42lbs and the weight was still reducing. Here is her story in her own words:

The result

“I am now a healthier, more active person. I have become more in tune with my body’s needs and make simple daily choices that simply didn’t feel available to me before.

My daily routine was focused around food…notably, what I couldn’t eat battling what I wanted to eat and a destructive pattern of starving and stuffing.

I am now more contented, at peace with food and generally have a calmer, more confident attitude to life.Thoughts about food don’t dominate anymore.  I trust that what I put in my mouth will not only be delicious but also exactly what my body is telling me I need. As Caroline said, my body is not a bin.

We can now have crisps, chocolate and snacks in the house without the nagging fear that I might quickly stuff them all in in a bid to get rid of them. I can take or leave them and feel no guilt if I simply fancy a piece of chocolate.

Food has taken on a new place in my life. I think more about what I would like to eat rather than what I can’t or shouldn’t eat. Menus and flavours are suddenly more interesting. I drink more fluids and have a lot more energy.

Before I visited Caroline my life was on a very unhealthy destructive path. I feel like this process has not just enhanced my life by losing weight and starting to enjoy food but it has made me healthier and given my body a new form of protection.”

The thing that I love about hypnotherapy when it comes to weight management is reflected in Jo’s words – it is not about being on an eternal diet but having a relationship with food that is positive. ‘Treats’ can still be a treat and enjoyed but food ceases to be a constant focus.

Lyn – Phobia of lifts

Phobias are something that many people ‘suffer in silence’ with. Sufferers are often to embarrassed to visit their GP about it, often going to extreme lengths to hide it from friends and colleagues. However, Lyn experienced an end to her phobia of lifts which she’d had for years.  And it took about 90 minutes!

Phobias are usually created through one of two roots – trauma or learned. Lyn hadn’t been a massive fan of lifts but then suffered the trauma of being trapped in one for over an hour. Needless to say, from that point on, lifts were not an option!

Getting started

Many people will avoid hypnotherapy because they misconstrue how it works. Here is how Lyn describes it:

“It was just a very relaxing and peaceful experience. I was aware of sounds around me at the time but they were not intrusive, your (Caroline’s) quiet and gentle voice was the only thing that I was really tuned in to. I was a bit worried about being put into a trance but it wasn’t anything like the hypnosis I had seen on TV shows: it was a really pleasant experience.”

The result

Lyn had one therapeutic session only.  She left the session and drove straight to the local department store that had a lift. Within an hour, I received a text to say she had ridden up and down in the lift on her own several times.  I did wonder what the staff were thinking!

The mind is an incredible powerful resource.  Due to Lyn’s traumatic experience, part of her mind had made the link between a risk to her personal safety and lifts. The primary role of the subconscious mind is survival and so the mind came up with a reasonable decision – to stay safe, stay out of lifts!

However, the subconscious can also be very myopic.  It was unable to see that this focus on personal safety was actually harming her emotional security.  It couldn’t see that she was missing out on lots of things that would bring her happiness.

And this is one of the roots of how hypnotherapy works. It introduces new information and evidence to the subconscious mind creating new mental associations. It’s a bit like changing the points on a train track – a simple flick of a switch and the train heads off in a different direction.

“I cannot thank you enough for your help, I just with that I had visited you a long time ago. It has been such a positive experience.”

Katie – Performance anxiety

Katie runs a business and also competes in female physique and fitness competitions. She commits to a punishing fitness regime and also holds a place on a top committee in her field. However, when it comes to being in the limelight, her confidence leaves her. Having to speak at her committee meetings is terrifying and the anxiety she feels when competing means she does not reach her full potential. Her performance anxiety leads to huge frustration after every competition knowing she could have done better.

The result

“I sought the help of Caroline Cavanagh because I was participating in a competition which meant taking to the stage of a large theatre. Feeling extremely nervous and self-conscious is typical in any setting where I am the centre of attention. I participated in this competition last year and did not want to feel the same negative feelings this year when I stepped off stage. The difference in my feelings between this year and last year was dramatic. In contrast to feeling disappointed and deflated I felt positive and happy and proud of my performance …. euphoric in fact! The hypnotherapy really did work for me,” said Katie.

The work we did together focused on previous instances of anxiety when being the centre of attention.  This work was supported by using the technique of visualisation. The subconscious cannot tell the difference between reality and imagination.  So by imaging her competition, her brain was literally ‘programmed’ into what to do and how to feel.

Visualisation is a technique now being used by many of the top sportsman as its efficacy is proven.

Katie had just two sessions to achieve this dramatic change in perspective and also practiced the visualisation technique herself.

Aside from her success, Katie also commented on how it felt to be hypnotised:

“I felt as if I was aware of what was happening at all times.  I could recall the suggestions that were made to me after coming out of the hypnotic trance. When I awoke, I felt as if I’d been in a deep sleep and very, very relaxed. I also felt very positive.”

Jennifer – Depression

In my experience depression and anxiety often go hand in hand as one condition leads to the other. This was the case with Jennifer.  She was feeling depressed because many elements of her life were not panning out the way she anticipated.  This was leading to an anxiety about what her future would be; and the two led to a downward spiral.

In her mid thirties, she’d had a series of short-term relationships and desperately wanted to be a mother. She was in a work environment she didn’t enjoy and struggled with insomnia.

Sometimes the work I do with clients can be likened to them being onions – as you cut through a layer, you find another one below. Jennifer was very much like this. We discovered part of her challenge with forming lasting relationships came from very early childhood.  Her father had abandoned her mother when Jennifer was very young but the memory had stayed with her. She then learned that she had been one of a twin who had unfortunately not made it into this world but Jennifer had sensed that loss even at those very early stages of life. These learnings allowed her to see things with a new perspective that changed this downward spiral of depression and led her to make new decisions in her life.

The result

“Thank you so much for all your help and support. I feel I have come such a long way from who I was when you first met me. With your help I have been able to put my past into perspective and not let it control me anymore. I am so much happier now than I have been in a long time. My new job couldn’t be going any better and I feel this is the next chapter in my life. I don’t beat myself up as much and am more confident.”

When asked to if there was anything about hypnotherapy that surprised her, Jenny’s answer was, “How easy it was to be hypnotised and how quickly feelings surfaced that I didn’t realise were there.”

Jenny has now changed jobs, moved house and is also getting her finances back in order and looks to the future with a fantastic positivity. In her words:

“You have helped change my life for the better, thank you!”

If you feel I can help you too, please get in touch and let’s chat.

Paul – Stress management

Paul lives a very stressful life and this, combined with shift work, affected his ability to relax and sleep. He sought a hypnotherapist in Salisbury without a specific goal in mind.  However, he was interested in learning how to relax more as a way of increasing his stress management.

In his words…

“My experience with hypnotherapy has been very positive, I was intrigued with what it may be able to do for me. I approached it with an open mind but I must say it was a far more beneficial experience than I could have imagined. At all times I was talked through and reassured by Caroline. It was a completely relaxing experience and after one session the issue I had been living with was substantially better.

On top of that I felt more relaxed in my everyday life too. I have and will recommend Caroline Cavanagh to friends and colleagues. In fact I have introduced a friend who also has had a great experience through her hypnotherapy practise in Salisbury.

Caroline’s work surroundings are very calming and she puts you at ease from the moment you get to your appointment.

I personally have had more than one session and had significant improvements each time.”

Adam – Fear of giving presentations

This story of his fear of giving presentations comes straight from Adam.

“I have always felt a high level of fear when giving presentations. In my early to mid twenties, I had to regularly present various topics to my colleagues at work. I found this very stressful. The idea of being out of control and to be forced to present to a room full of people triggered panic attacks in me. Over time, these attacks got worse.  I started to feel anxious in a whole range of public situations. For example, bumping into someone unexpectedly in the street used to be an ordeal. I would instantly panic and be unable to speak.

About 5 years ago, I decided to do something about it. I knew of Caroline’s hypnotherapy services in Salisbury having met her at a workshop she was hosting. She explained what hypnotherapy could do for someone like me and I gave it a go.

I met with Caroline about 6 times. We focused on my anxiety and explored what made me feel out of control. The information she shared was fascinating. I was taught techniques to focus on how to remain in control, and we explored memories, new and old, and analyzed what they meant.”

The result

“I did not feel an instant change in how I responded to presentations and similar such situations. However, over time my concerns seemed to just die away. I have since started a business venture and employ over 30 staff; as such I have to regularly chair company meetings, presenting our vision and managing group discussions.

I no longer find this challenging and it no longer triggers panic attacks. When I think back to how I was 5 years, ago, it seems like looking at a different person. NLP wasn’t a magic solution, it was a process that helped me put things in perspective and gain a greater sense of control.

As much as anything I realized a bit of nerves is perfectly normal, and as a result I no longer panic when I feel nervous!”

Debbie – Driving Phobia

Debbie has an incredibly demanding role in a high pressure environment. In her work role she is strong and confident when working with her clients.  But she struggled when it came to the managerial element of her role and had been avoiding opportunities for promotion. Once she left her place of work, low self esteem prevailed.  However,  her main reason for contacting me was due to a developing driving phobia.

She had noticed it was escalating. She had started to experience panic attacks and realised she was starting to avoid going out to certain places.

Getting started

Debbie had a total of 6 sessions with me spread over 3 months. In this time she achieved a “significant improvement” with the problems she was experiencing.

“Caroline is unique! She was able to help me ‘peel back the layers’ and address some deep rooted issues which quietly niggled away in the background. In the first session with Caroline I was apprehensive but after that, I couldn’t wait to see her again to have the next one!” said Debbie.

This is also quite common and I often refer to some of my clients as onions! Layers build up over time and the one at the top becomes the dominant one. As you work through these therapeutically, others then emerge which have been ‘buried.’ But they are still ‘niggling away’ in the back of the mind and impacting on the quality of life.

During our last session together – a special one that I love doing as it really ‘hands over’ the tools to clients to use in their life going forward, Debbie noted numerous differences in her life. She felt more relaxed and had taken action on a legal matter that had been weighing her down for a long time. She was driving – and enjoying it! Even driving at night which was one of the things she had started to avoid. In work, she had noticed that she was no longer feeling vulnerable in management meetings and, “My senses are more alert. I even think I am standing taller!

Quite simply, I’ve found my mojo! I am less anxious, more confident and feel big smiles inside!