Grief and grieving

September 09th 2022

Unlike many emotions, grief is expressed in many different ways. Now is a time for all to understand our grief.


To watch this information on video, click here

For many, the loss of our Queen will be the first experience of grief.  For others, it may re-open the pain of loss from the past.  However intense our personal experiences, we will all be impacted by the grief of others.

Below, I share key learnings about grief to help you and those around you.

1. There are many ways to grieve

Some people process their grief through talking with others – externalising their grief.

Others do the opposite and internalise it – process their thoughts inside their head.  This can sometimes been see by others as being cold or distant.

Others use humour, using crass or inappropriate comedy as their way of processing their feelings.  They are often seen as insensitive, however that is rarely their intention.

Yet others may seek to bury their grief, distracting themselves from the pain by being manically busy.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve.  People may bounce between different methods of processing their grief.

My advice to you is to not judge others harshly if their method of grieving does not mirror yours. Be accepting of others' grief.

2. Experiencing waves

Grief does not dissipate in a nice linear way.  It comes in waves.  You may feel fine and then suddenly a wave hits you and those feelings return.

Over time, the severity of these feelings tend to reduce, the time between each wave increases.  Sometimes however, that wave comes from no-where and can be overwhelming.

My advice is to ride the wave. The wave will break. Behind each wave is a period of calm. Be in the moment and know it will pass.

3. Grief can link to other emotions

Grief can often lead to other emotions.

Anger is a common one as there is a deep reaction to injustice of loss or to a fear of being left alone or in this world that is now different.

Sadness is equally common and will often replace the grief.

If experiencing these emotions, know it is part of the process of grief.

As with grief, allow the feelings of anger or sadness to be felt and then let them go. These feelings too shall pass.

For more information on grief, please read a very personal approach to grief here.

If you are struggling with grief, please reach out for help.  It is not a weakness.

Please feel free to contact me on the contact page of this site

Or reach out to other professionals:

Cruse Grief counselling:

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