If you struggle with anxiety, try this…

Anyone who struggles with anxiety will know these feelings:

• Your mind wont switch off
• Situations and conversations play over and over again
• You imagine worst-case scenarios

Here is one technique I use in those situations which I found incredibly powerful.  It comes from an ancient Hawaiian practice called  Ho’oponopono prayer.

Ho’oponopono is a traditional spiritual practice of reconciliation and forgiveness. The word itself roughly translates to “to make right” or “to correct an error.”

In its modern, simplified form, it’s often practiced as a short prayer or mantra:

I’m sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.
I love you.

And that’s all it is. Four short sentences. But when repeated, they can begin to quieten even the most anxious mind.

Here is how it works:

A lot of anxiety is based on a thinking you have done something work.

“I’m sorry” isn’t about blame. It’s about acknowledging that you’re human and make mistakes. By saying sorry, you are acknowledging that you care.  This can help softens harsh self-criticism.

Many of us are familiar with our minds replaying mistakes.

“Please forgive me” interrupts that loop.

It signals to your nervous system that it’s time to leave that punishing mode. And by forgiving yourself, you are not reliant on someone else’s actions.  You can forgive the intention, the action, the behaviour – whatever is most relevant to forgive.

Forgiveness also reduces the body’s stress response which can then make the next step easier….

Gratitude — even small, simple gratitude — changes your brain chemistry.

When you say “Thank you,” you change the energy towards someone or something.

My ‘thank you’ often relates to the opportunity to do better next time, to learn, to change.

It gently moves your focus away from imagined threats into what is real in the moment.

This line is the most powerful and often the hardest to say.

It builds upon the last line by changing the energy – be that to yourself or someone else.  Love is a strong emotion and even if you can only feel a little of it, it will quieten fear.

The beauty of this is that you can do it anytime, any place.

All you need to do is picture the focus of your anxiety- be that your own thoughts, the actions of someone else, something that hasnt yet happened…. take a few slow deep breaths and repeat the four lines slowly and intentionally.

You can change the order.  There is no wrong way.

The power is in the repetition.

When I first came across this, it was pretty ‘woowoo’ even for me!  However, I never discredit a technique without trying it.

There was a particular lady in my life who was causing me a lot of stress.  I found myself repeating things she’d done over and over.  Dwelling on what I could have said and didnt. Feeling a whole range of anger, anxiety, unfairness….

So I tried it.

For a couple of days, for a few minutes per day, I imagined her face and used the technique:

– I am sorry for whatever I have done that has caused you to dislike me

– Please forgive me, it was not intentional

– Thank you for giving me this opportunity to be a stronger person

– I love you

And yep, that last sentence came through gritted teeth but I did my best!

The next time I met this lady a few weeks later, she was completely different towards me. No more narky comments, no more hostile stares.  She even smiled!

Can I prove that the Ho’oponopono technique worked?

No of course not!

But something had shifted – even if that was in me and it felt better!!  The dialogue changed, and I found that she no longer occupied my thoughts.

So it may feel a little whacky. It may sound a bit weird.  But is has been an ancient practice to resolve conflict and restore harmony and my experience was – it did!!

Are you up for giving it a go??

Caroline Cavanagh, the Anxiety Alchemist, is an anxiety specialist  and hypnotherapist in Salisbury, Wiltshire.  She is an author and mental health speaker and loves showing people how you can change anxiety from something you struggle with, into a catalyst for growth.  Let’s chat.