Have you ever walked into a room and immediately sensed an atmosphere?
It doesn’t take any words from anyone, you can just feel it.
And the opposite is true too – you can be with someone who is buzzing and you can’t help but feel more positive.
This is because our emotional states can ripple outwards and influence the people around us.
And that makes the way we manage our own anxiety more important than we might realise, especially for those in our inner circle!
One of the simplest ways I explain this to the people I work with is through the idea of energy and vibration.
Without diving too far into quantum physics, everything is made up of energy. At the microscopic level, matter and energy behave dynamically, with particles and fields exhibiting movement; oscillating in a wave-like behaviour.
Let’s leave physics behind a moment and talk chemistry. Emotions are the feelings created by chemical reactions going on in the body. It is how we can tell anger from love, anxiety from joy – because they feel differently. It is like a vibration in the body that we label to be able to communicate them.
And much like a tuning form, this energy can be picked up by others.
Emotional contagion is the term psychologists use to explain how we automatically pick up cues from other people; their facial expressions, tone of voice, body language, etc — and can begin to mirror their emotional state without realising we are doing it.
Research has demonstrated that emotions can transfer between people, sometimes without either person being particularly aware that it is happening.
In other words…
Your emotional state can become someone else’s emotional state.
And theirs can become yours.
And this is what I call the ripple factor.
Not all ripples are equal. Think about the people closest to you: Your other half, your kids, the colleagues you spend hours with every day…
These people are often more attuned to you than a stranger would be.
They are familiar with your ‘normal’ vibration and pick up on any changes from this.
Research backs up the idea that interpersonal closeness matters. Studies have found emotional contagion and physiological synchrony between people, with stronger effects observed in closer relationships.
If you are a parent, you will probably resonate with the saying, “You are only ever as happy as your least happy child!”
We often experience this most keenly in the home environment with someone who is tired or grumpy snaps, leading to a defensive response that heightens the irritation in Mr Grumpy.
Sound familiar??
Something that started in one person has become a ripple moving through the whole household.
But here’s the really important bit…
The ripple can work in the other direction too.
Research has also shown that positive emotional states spread between people as easily. Therefore someone who is upbeat can have an influence on lifting others.
This distinction is important.
You are not responsible for the mental health of everyone you care for!
You cannot control how another person feels. Nor should you be worried that your anxieties are damaging the people around you.
Anxiety is human.
Bad days are normal.
The point isn’t to eliminate the emotions but to become more aware of the state you are in.
Because that awareness gives you choice.
Action: Notice your vibration before it becomes a ripple
Here is something you can do to help manage your ripples positively.
Before you walk into an important meeting, respond to your child, reply to that frustrating text….
Pause and notice what ‘state’ you are in – ie how are you feeling.
And then ask yourself if that is the energy you want to take into the meeting/conversation/response?
It’s unrealistic to believe you can magically transform negativity into happiness but often all you need to do is move the dial a notch.
From overwhelmed → manageable.
From reactive → considered.
From tense → calmer.
We experience difficult emotions. But when you learn to notice them, you can influence what happens next.
What ripple are you creating?
Every interaction creates a ripple.
Often it’s so tiny we don’t notice it but it can reach much further than we realise.
Your anxiety can make someone hesitate.
Your frustration can create defensiveness.
Your confidence can create courage.
Your belief in them can help them be brave.
You don’t have to be endlessly positive nor pretend everything is fine.
But you can learn to recognise when your internal state is starting to dip — and develop the skills to bring yourself back.
And that’s where I can help.
If you regularly find yourself thinking “I know I’m spiralling, but I don’t know how to stop it”, or you recognise that your anxiety is beginning to affect your relationships, your work or the people around you, let’s chat.
I can help you understand what is triggering you, help you recognise your early warning signs, understand what is happening inside your mind and body, and develop practical techniques to shift your state before the ripple becomes a tsunami.
Because anxiety isn’t the enemy.
It’s energy.
And when you learn how to harness it, you can change not only how you feel…but the energy you take into the world around you.
If you’d like support in recognising when your vibration is starting to drop — and learning how to bring it back up — get in touch. Let’s work on it together.
Caroline Cavanagh, the Anxiety Alchemist, is an anxiety specialist, working with people to help them change the weight of anxiety into a catalyst for growth.
Caroline is a national award winning therapist, author of Anxiety Alchemy and a mental resilience speaker.
She has a passion for working with teenagers to help them learn how their thoughts create their feelings, resulting in their behaviours. Her work empowers them to create a life of choice through working with their thoughts.
You can work with Caroline 1-2-1, through her book or online. She is just a click away.
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