Why people don’t keep New Year’s resolutions

Why do so many people fail to keep their New Year’s resolutions?

The statistics vary but there is a consistency: Most studies show the percentage of people still sticking to them by the end of January is in single figures.

It was not important enough to them to NOT wait until the 1st Jan to start it!

Putting that in plain English, if you decided to start dieting, give up smoking..(add you own resolution)  but waited until 1st January to start, you did not want to make that change enough!

Anything you really REALLY want to change, you start doing NOW!

Habits are things you have practiced doing time and time again until they take no effort to do – they effectively run on autopilot.

Consider washing yourself in the shower.  Do you think about it or just walk out of the shower clean?  And the whole time your hands were moving that soap around, you were thinking of something else.

Think of this like a river flowing.  The water follows down the path of least resistance.  And it does so effortlessly.

And to change the course of a river takes A LOT of effort.

To change a habit, just like changing the direction of a river; it takes effort.  And to put that effort in, you need a big enough reason.

And if you have a big enough reason, you don’t put off changing the habit to some random date in the future.

The key…..have a big enough reason to want to change something.

This is why women can lose weight before their wedding.  Or can give up smoking the minute they find they are pregnant.  But then put the weight back on post wedding, and pick up the ciggies post birth.

Their reasons:
– to look fabulous in the photos that will be sitting on their sideboards on view for the next 20 years!

– to not harm the innocent baby inside of them.

They are BIG reasons.

And when the reason is no longer there, the behaviour often reverts.

And the answer to that question is down to every individual.   What is important to one person, may not be of value to another

However, here are some ideas that may help:

Back to our weight loss example.  Which do you think would be more effective: To lose weight to look good in wedding photos, or to lose weight so that you can be fit and healthy to run around with your grandchildren?

Some goals may just be so big that they become overwhelming.
I once had a goal that I defined as “like trying to climb Mount Everest in flipflops.”  My coach told me to just focus on getting to base camp first!

And achievement of the first stage, makes the next stage easier and motivation increases to continue – and a new path starts to form too!

Psychologically, we will always move away from pain quicker than moving towards pleasure.  Therefore a reason that is focused on the implications of failing to change the habit can be more motivating than the positive outcomes of changing it.

I once had a friend who wanted to stop biting her nails but never succeeded. I pointed out that it could end up being part of her obituary that she never stopped biting her nails all her life!

She never bit her nails again!!

Dieting, going to the gym and giving up alcohol is like diverting three rivers simultaneously!

Pick one thing – the one that is having the biggest impact on you, and focus on that.  Once that is under control, THEN, look at the next one.

‘Falling off the wagon’ once does not determine failure.  Not getting back on does.

Accept that there will be days when circumstances lead to you making that easier decision.  After the event, reflect back on what it was that came together and led to your fall, and see what you can do to either prevent those circumstances all colliding together again, or what else you could have done to make a different decision.

Then continue where you left off.

Here is something someone said to me that has really helped me in the past…

Changing habits takes time and effort. So give it time and be prepared to make the effort and success is possible.

Hypnotherapy can give you a bit of a jump start on these things so if you’d like a woman with the machinery to help make that diversion easier, please feel free to contact me for a chat.

Caroline Cavanagh is an anxiety specialist  and hypnotherapist in Salisbury, Wiltshire.  She is an author and professional speaker and would love to talk to you if you would like to know more about her work