How to build long term mental resilience

January and February are tough months for many especially after the festivities of a few weeks ago.

Resolutions for most have already been discarded and mental health cracks can start to appear.

Here are 7 ways that can help you not just pick yourself up in the coming weeks, but build a long term mental resilience.

Science shows that the more connected we are, the more mentally resilient we are.

Make a list of people you wish to reconnect with – beyond just exchanging a Christmas card each year!

Who comes to mind but feels “awkward” to contact because too much time has passed?

Choose one, be brave and just send the email or make the call.

Key is to let go of the outcome. If they don’t respond, it’s not a reflection on you. It may just mean that their life has moved them elsewhere.

Reconnecting can reignite the positive energy that sparked the friendship in the first place.

And if that happens, fantastic.  If not, pick the next person you would welcome back into your life and reach out to them.

I did this last year.  I sent an email to someone I have not seen for over 15 years…and I heard nothing back.  A year later, he replied and said how grateful he was for the contact. We hope to meet up soon.  It feels good!!

Your mind works like a muscle and with regular exercise, it strengthens.  Whether you flex the negative muscle or the positive muscle, it will focus the lens you see the world through.

A strong negative muscle results in seeing risk everywhere, triggering anxiety.  A strong positive muscle however allows you to see the good that is equally around

Spending just 2 minutes a day noticing what’s gone well in the day can:

• Improve mindset
• Reduce stress
• Increase overall life satisfaction
• Improve sleep

Try it while brushing your teeth at night. Here’s a free download to help you get started.

Linked to the point above, reflect on last year and list all the successes and positive things that happened – big or small.

Our natural focus is on the failures and we overlook what went right and what contributed to the success.  By giving thought to this it helps you to:

• Recognise your strengths
• Build confidence
• Recreate positive outcomes this year

This isn’t a resolution — it’s a micro-change.  And doing something tiny when repeated, can create a life changing habit.

Choose one thing for just 5 minutes a day.  For example:

• Meditation
• Stretching
• A short walk
• Decluttering
• Listening to something inspiring

And to help build a habit, there are some great tips in Atomic Habits  a summary of which you can find here.

Each season brings something unique and seasonal joy matters more than we realise.

Pick one simple, seasonal activity per month that you don’t normally do — diarise it and commit to do it.

Here are some examples (and I am sure you can find others that work for you):

• January: Walk in the countryside and photograph snowdrops
• March: Organise a fun Easter egg hunt (adults included)
• June: Fish and chips by the sea or a lakeside
• October: Carve a pumpkin
• November: Have a Bonfire and toast marshmallows with friends
• December: Make a handmade Christmas decoration for you or as a gift

Having something every few weeks to look forward to is powerful for mental health.

Clutter can easily build up, quietly draining energy. Sorting out a cupboard or drawer can:

• Change the feel of a room
• Reduce mental load
• Create a sense of progress

I often find that you discover things at the back of cupboards that you have forgotten about and that in itself can be fun!

If letting go feels hard, ask a friend to help you decide what you really need.

Stress comes from lack – be that money, time or energy.

We often only think of money as a currency.  However, think of time and energy as currencies too.

Ask yourself:

• Where am I overspending energy?
• What tops my battery up?
• What could I invest time in now that saves me time later?

By seeking to create a balance in money, time, and energy, life feels lighter — even when things are busy.

Download the 3 currencies document that will help you identify if you have areas that are in the red.  Then use the exercise to see how you can draw on the other currencies to create a net balance in all 3.  From there, you can start investing to get a greater return on how you spend each.

You don’t need to do all seven.

Even committing to one is a step towards real change this year and will strengthen your mental resources

What’s one thing you’re willing to commit to that will mean you a different you come next January?

Caroline Cavanagh, the Anxiety Alchemist, is an anxiety specialist  and hypnotherapist in Salisbury, Wiltshire.  She is an author and mental health speaker and love showing people how you can change anxiety into something that holds you back, into a catalyst for growth.  Let’s chat.